Okay, so I know it has been a while since I’ve written. I missed it, actually. I love having the time to put all of my thoughts into one place, and for you nosey people out there, you might enjoy it too.
Some things that I have learned since the last semester ended: 1: Being an adult is really hard. 2: Being an adult with a degree sounds weird so I don’t want to do it. 3: But I guess if I have to do it I’ll move somewhere new {Hopefully to Florida, but we will see} 4: God has so many plans for me that are SO much better than what I could possibly imagine. The fourth one is honestly really hard to swallow. I am the oldest child, the type A personality (and for those of you that have met my other, you KNOW what I am talking about), and I like to know exactly what will be happening and when. It’s in my blood. I remember the first time my family took a trip to Disney by ourselves I was in high school, and of course I thought my way was the right way always. However, my mother disagreed and we both decided that we needed to make a vacay itinerary (I know, we’re crazy don’t judge), which just gave us more to argue about. To this day, we agree on mostly everything until it comes to planning. What I find really funny about that is that I find myself doing the exact same thing with God sometimes. Of course, in my mind, I know exactly where I want to go when I graduate, what I want my career to look like, and that I will be married eventually (HAHA WISH ME LUCK). I’ll spend my extra time in His word, but when it comes to my life, I plan things out according to ME and what I want. It’s really unfortunate sometimes, but that’s just not how things work. Giving up that reign that you have on your life (or think you have) is REALLY difficult. Exhibit A: Last summer I was taking summer classes to make up for my crappy semester GPA. I wanted SO badly to go to Camp Baldwin with the Liberty DuQuoin Youth group, but it just was not going to happen. I had an internship, a job, and the list goes on. However, this year was different. The way that I had gotten to attend was not really planned, and I really struggled at first with the idea. Of course I wanted to go back, but I knew it would be a different atmosphere than what I had experienced as a camper, and that scared me. I missed my friends, and I missed being a camper. I was scared of the group I was taking and how they would approach me, if they would even enjoy my company, and if I was even supposed to be there, all prior to us leaving. I remember texting all of my friends and just asking them to calm my nerves because I really didn’t know what to expect. I realized when we left that I was looking at it for all of the wrong reasons. This summer, I was taking classes again, working multiple jobs, and I lived in anther town when our little camp van pulled out of the parking lot.. But this summer was my season. My heart was ready, it was just my head that was thinking otherwise. I realized the week that I went with those kids, that in my submission to Christ and what he actually wants in my life (trust me, I prayed the ENTIRE drive down there) I can be so much more than what I would even see for myself. The potential for me when I am in my own head is great, but the potential that I have when I am living for Christ is so much greater. Then, of course, I ended up falling in love with those kids and with Camp Baldwin all over again. Moral of the story, know your own truth. Read the Bible for yourself, not just because people tell you that you should do it. Know what you believe and how it can change your life because when you KNOW it, you live it. xoxo, Michelle
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